Health has been such a big part of my life, but it took me years to figure out what actually works for me instead of just what I thought I was supposed to be doing.
As a young teen, I was heavier, breaking the 200lb mark. When I was like 15, I decided the only way to lose the weight was to go vegan, so that's what I did. I was hardcore vegan for four years and honestly, it was fine. My parents didn't think it would last, but it did.
Eventually I realized being fully vegan was hard and expensive, so I started being more vegetarian. I still feel weird every time I eat anything with animal products in it, but I also realized so much has animal byproduct in it and it's just not the lifestyle I want to stress about anymore. I don't eat meat ever, though sometimes I have calamari or escargot because apparently my brain has decided those don't count. The logic makes no sense, but here we are.
The Chloe Ting Phase
My parents didn't think the vegetarian thing would last when I started in 2015, but it did. What didn't last was my first real attempt at working out. Around the start of COVID, when everyone was doing Chloe Ting workouts, I jumped on that train too.
That HIIT routine was intense. My body would fluctuate so much based on how consistent I was with it. I'd get abs during the week and then lose them over the weekend because I was drinking and partying. It was this constant cycle that felt unsustainable, but I kept pushing through it because I thought that's what fitness was supposed to feel like.
When I got my new job and my commute went from over an hour to three minutes, I suddenly had all this time I didn't know what to do with. So I started walking. A lot. Daily. Just mindlessly spending hours on the treadmill because I needed something to fill the space.
Finding Running, Then Losing It
After about nine months of that, I ran for the first time and completely fell in love with it. I became addicted to running in the best way possible. It wasn't about burning calories or hitting some fitness goal, it was just this thing that made me feel good.
Then I decided to do a half marathon and hurt myself. That injury really set back my love for running, and honestly, my desire to do much of anything active. I let myself go for a while. I mean, I probably never went above 150 pounds, but mentally I felt like I was starting over.
I'd go to the gym occasionally, try some walking or light running, but nothing substantial. Nothing that felt like it mattered.
This Year Changed Everything
New Year's this year, I finally decided to actually change that. Not in some dramatic resolution way, but just because I was tired of feeling disconnected from my body.
I started lifting weights for the first time ever and doing the 12-3-30 walk on days I wasn't lifting. It's changed everything about how I approach fitness and honestly, how I approach life.
My body feels healthier now, but more than that, I actually want to exercise. I like getting up early to go on runs again. I like being in charge of my day from the moment I wake up. I never thought I'd be the person who gets up early to go to the gym, but I am, and I really like it.
I don't think anyone actually likes working out at first, but once you make it a routine, it becomes second nature. The difference this time is that I'm not doing it to fix something wrong with me. I'm doing it because it makes me feel more like myself.
More Than Just Physical
I've never felt more confident, not just physically but emotionally. Once I realized how in control I feel when I'm active, it changed my outlook on everything else too. I approach problems differently. I handle stress better. I feel more capable in general.
It's not about the abs or the number on the scale anymore. It's about waking up and knowing I can show up for myself in this one consistent way. Everything else feels more manageable when I start the day proving to myself that I can follow through on something.
Maybe that's what all those fitness influencers mean when they talk about it being a lifestyle. Not the restrictive diet part or the obsessive workout part, but just the feeling of being in sync with yourself.
Finally feels like I found something that's actually mine.
